Excuse me sir but your ass is in my face...again!

Yesterday was one of those days where everything just went wrong.

1. I couldn't figure out how to make the shower work. Why are there so many knobs in Europe? Do there really need to be that many choices? Hot and cold...on or off. Simple.

2. Then I got stuck on the third floor of my hotel. See you need a key card to run the elevator and I couldn't use the elevator or get back into my room because I didn't have a key card. So I walked up and down the hallways too scared to use the fire exit because I thought it would set off the alarms. This is not always the case, sometimes they post those signs to throw you off...really it's true. I finally remembered (no need to know how long I was actually up there...it's not important) I had the hotel number and called. They sent someone right up. So he helped me get my stuff into the elevator and hit the BIG GREEN BUTTON. Is that all I had to do hot British bell boy? "Yes ma'm." I didn't need a key card? "No ma'm you didn't". Did you just call me ma'm? Great now I look old (note to self do a mud mask) and stupid. But all I could do was laugh. I was so preoccupied with being annoyed I didn't even notice the BIG GREEN BUTTON. You only need to key card to get to each floor, not to go down to the lobby. Smart.

3. The person at the front desk messed up my bill which took about 30 minutes to fix. He didn't want to fix it as he proceeded to say, "this will be quite a long manual process to clear up. Would you like me to leave it the way it is"? If I wanted you to leave it the way it was, I wouldn't have asked you to fix it.

4. The taxi driver dropped me off at the wrong terminal but was nice enough to at least put my luggage on a cart. By the way I would suggest a short lesson on using these things. Always have the handle down, it is actually dangerous when you are walking fast and let go of the handle, "oops...sorry." Did I mention that my bags kept falling off the cart? Over and over and over...more fun in London!

5. So I schlepped my suitcases here there and everywhere and made it to my gate just in time. Apparently I look dangerous and had to be searched by the securiy person. Fine look in my bags. Ok, I will take off my shoes and coat. Hey wait-I don't think you need to search me there! I guess I shouldn't complain - action and in public! How racy of me! How you doin....

6. Finally I made it to my seat . I can relax now. Soon I will be in the air, I can nap, then maybe do a bit of work...I can breath easy. But wait! What is that I see coming towards my face, oh right it is the big ass of the guy sitting in the next seat. Ummm hello - that was my face sir. No need to apologize...right you didn't. This proceeded to happen through the whole flight. How can you not feel bumping somone over and over?! A few times he was completely bent over in my face backing up to arrage his ugly shoes underneath his seat and hit me in the side of the head. Finally, around the seventh (yes I counted) time this happened he realized what was going on. "Oh..sorry", he said. So I thought ell at least now he is aware, but I spoke to soon. Look out!

I was completely and thoroughly annoyed. Explain to me why it is that men think that just because you can't hear it when they release gas on an airplane it means it is ok?! We can still smell it disgusto.

The plane finally landed and I was home free. As I began my descent off the plane the nice British flight attendant said (brace yourselves folks), "Cheerio miss". I could have kissed him. Cheerio...did you just say that? I have been waiting all bloody (my new British word) week for someone to say that to me. And did you just call me Miss?

And that my friends changed my whole day.

Denmark is that you?

Heg,

I was very excited to visit Denmark and had many visions of what it would be like to meet the prince. For those of you who have seen The Prince & Me, I envisioned my experience to be one like Paige Morgan’s (played by Julia Stiles) in the movie. I would be standing watching the royal family parade by and he would see me in the crowd and whisk me away on his royal white horse as the people cheered. I had visions that he would take me to the royal palace and the queen would guide me to the royal safe and let me choose anything I wanted from the collection of royal jewels. And finally, I had visions of being Queen!

I am sad to report that the closest I got to the prince was seeing the queens carriages and of course as you have might have guessed – he’s married. DAMN HIM. I had a dream….

What else did I see in Denmark? Well I am glad that you asked. I saw much of nothing. Yes that is right nothing. The only thing I saw was fog, fog, and more fog. In fact, when I was landing I couldn't’t even see the ground until we actually hit it. I am told that the countryside (which I drove through) is beautiful and resembles Maine. I will have to take their word for it.

I did learn quite a lot though. So I am passing my facts on to you.

1. Did you know that Denmark has the longest spanning free-standing bridge in Europe? It’s true.

2. Did you know that Denmark gets 20% of its energy from wind mills? Yep, it’s true.

3. Did you know that Denmark produces its oil and natural gas therefore does not have to rely on buying alternative energy sources? They are fortunate unlike the Germans who had the Russians turn off their supply of gas during a cold spell! Also all true.

4. Did you know that Denmark has regulated and outlawed trans-fat?! It’s only allowed in 12 or so products and cannot be above 20%. True.

5. And finally, did you know that the Danish know a thing or two about…well everything. Just ask them! I guess the Danish and the Greeks have more in common than I thought.

Finally my friends I leave you with this. Do you think it was necessary for someone to tell me that their sister was having surgery on her rectum and why? You decide....(I’m not making it up..it's true.)

IDEXX Digital Development Team - IDEXX PACS 3.0.48 has visited Denmark.

Farvel

Disclaimer: Fotine Sotiropoulos accepts no liability for the “fun facts” listed above given to her by a third-party resource and is not subject to any ridicule for the consequences of any verbal actions taken on the basis of the information provided.

Have the men in Maine moved to Germany?

I have an unspoken set of rules that I live by and these rules help me navigate day to day. Some people break these rules and end up on the “list”.

The men from Maine tend to be on this “unwritten list” and using the below guidelines you will be able easily identify them.

1. These are the men you will meet and after some conversation will say to you “stay right here, I will be right back. I just have to get myself a drink”. But NEVER offer to get you a drink. Oh and did I forget to mention that they expect that you will be there when they return.

2. These are the men who will open a door and walk through it as it shuts in your face and not look back.

3. These are then men who pretend they can’t figure out the tip on a bill just so to show you how much the meal costs.

4. These are the men that keep track of how many meals they have paid for and tell you when it’s your turn.

5. And finally, these are the men that on the third date explain to you that the national average is three dates before a couple “sleeps” together and can’t understand why you don’t agree.

My theory was that these men only lived in Maine. But as I stood at Stuttgart Airport baggage claim one of these men pushed me out of the way so he could wait for his bags. I repeat wait for his bags. Not pull them off the conveyer but wait for them. I stand corrected….these men are worldwide!

After visiting Germany here are my thoughts.

1. Why do you charge .50 Euros to use the restroom when there is not even a basket with toiletries to use?

2. The Germans know a thing or two about keeping toilets clean. Actual toilet seat washers in public restrooms (ahh…that explains the .50 euros). I pushed the button twice just to watch.

3. Is it really necessary to drive 220 km/hour on the highway? This will be described to all of you as my near death experience in Germany.

4. If I tell you I cannot speak German talking to me louder won’t all of sudden make me understand what you are saying! I guess Germans and Greeks have more in common than I thought.

5. Men in skinny jeans?! Not sure I agree that this is a good thing.

For those 2 wonderful people in Germany who helped me figure out where I was going and helped me get my suitcases off the train.THANK YOU. I will pay it forward!

IDEXX Digital Development Team – IDEXX-PACS 3.0.48 has been to Germany and visited Stuttgart, Tubingen, the mountains in Oberstordf, and Munich.

Gute Nacht

Stranded in London...

International airports smell different than US airports. Not bad but just different. Taking in that smell often brings on exciting thoughts of new adventures and meeting new people.

In my head, the idea of meeting new people never plays out the way it does when it actually happens. In my head...the British are happy people and will of course be delighted to help me. But when I asked - "Is this gate closed? Did I miss my flight?" My first thought was why won't you look at me when answering. Just because you have good hair and are wearing Prada on your feet doesn't make you superior or does it? And excuse me British Airlines service representative I already told you I wanted to rebook my flight please spare me the lecture on how there is no excuse for me missing my flight and demanding an explanation. You people are supposed to be proper and polite....right? Say chip chip cheerio....that is how I pictured it - SAY IT!

However as there is a silver lining in every story, all this time gives me the opportunity to share the things I discovered at Heathrow Airport.

1. Just because the flight board says a flight is leaving at 7:55 doesn't mean that it will. In fact even if the gate opens at 7:30 it doesn't mean the plane will actually be there when you get there. It just leaves when it feels like it...even 11 minutes early.

2. The Brits know a thing or two about how escalators should run. Here they move flat for about four rises to give you an opportunity to get your balance and adjust your luggage.

3. The toilet paper is broken out for you in perfect little pieces.

4. Hand dryers are strangely and unexpectedly powerful here.

A special note to the Digital Development Team...IDEXX-PACS 3.0.48 is in London!